Loving

There are many names, there are many people but why only one name has ability to palpitate our heart…….?

 Like it happens for a while and goes for a lifetime by the touch of god in love. Standing under far away stars twinkling for mind freak and comfort; we are innocent. Thinking for rightness, shrinking into multifaceted lesson of bitterness. The fights that takes the smile at the end and kindness that abuses hatred is we lovers. There are no stories that one does not beat their heart for someone, if untold, would been internal romance that they dies each moment from oblivion of others. Each human are racked by it and they take risk of pain that are pleasure for memories. Some goes in miseries acutely sick of knowing someone but feeling so good as if life is for a moment of truth. For a designed being, it is revolution that rips wisdom at each days of ignorance. For a stupor mind it is candle not only for darkness. We believe in giving, when nothing is being received we grow strong which is the components of making one go living.

We are born in exemplary world, for someone is Romeo and Juliet, for some is Gasa lamey Singye, for someone is Shah Jahan teaching love is way of creating happiness and the sorrow that still hunts new beings. The simple form of attachment never had been away through struggle. The arousing fear in letting know others and the desire that is never enough sinks a dream that are built by the conscious crave. There are silences taking breath from ached chest never healed. The sweetness lies upon being tolerant and be able to find the truth that everyone has liberty to experience love. Likewise, how can we say we want to take rest in their heart if they have someone chosen? I don’t like this because it is sad. What we can do is just cry inside and prove it.

I also, always believed my love to be as pure as I thought, it was from the start of that day my eyes saw someone different. Since it continue with seasons, growth of grasses and all living things. I think I waited all winters and autumn that I promised my love is infinite and kept hoping spring would make it more. In the process it mixes with all stuffs paining soul and any sense we create, sometime it is not pure as we think and it should be. When I reflect on, it is abstract which has no mistress because it is composed of various elements which have no true essence. Love sometimes would contemplate different phenomenon in mind making me weak. I thought love is a medicine which cures all sorrow, but it is not greater rather more eminent to oneself. Though numerous sentiments which could be avoided but I cannot breathe one other side if I neglect because I may not go living in better ways. It is all my treasure which I can purchase if I have to because I found love teaching me differently. It always makes me childish and let hear the songs of wind and linnet. My mind had transported from flower to flower and sometimes to the feet of god who doesn’t tell lie. I might be a fool but the degree it has affected my eternity is like a heaven I have chosen the best place to live and die.

“ Love is always new. Regardless of whether we love once, twice, or a dozen times in our life, we always face a brand-new situation. Love can consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere. We simply have to accept it, because it is what nourishes our existence. If we reject it, we die of hunger, because we lack the courage to stretch out a hand and pluck the fruit from the branches of the tree of life. We have to take love where we find it, even if that means hours, days, weeks of disappointment and sadness.

Even if love is one way or another we cannot escape from the habits of missing and remembering the smile and quarrels. Anyhow missing itself is a love. We have memories, sad or happy, delight or hurt but the heart that feels it is innocent. Since there is hope on earth we always find better world. Let situation be the worst today we like it just another next moment. We may get afraid of seeing their face when we are together but just that face makes us crazy when they are two steps away. Despite of all misunderstanding and jealousy we think them all the time hurting ourselves but trying to recover it by going back the time how we used to love each other. Knowing everything would hurt, still trying to enjoy because one day or sometimes at the end it might be affection not perfectness.

When sun rises, going beyond the eyes and mind in the desert of finding when they would arise and those are the time when mind goes beyond the skies. Every things in love are just illusion and another heart break that we end life just collecting and joining each pieces not knowing how many times that innocent heart has broken for just one person.

March 14 2008

“Those were all good times, especially... when she was unaware of my love, though time passed extremely slowly, as time should pass, with the days lingering and long, spacious and free as the summer and winter holidays of childhood. The exciting feelings to see her face and find myself that she had felt nothing when I met her. This brings oneself to the meaning of one sided romance. Suspension of the time and continuous present of silence and trouble inside goes with space. If I look at the small feeling strapped each day to my heart, the numbers, even the sweeping second hand and eyes waiting her, seem meaningless, almost ridiculous because she is not changing for me…… “

This is love for those who weave inside for the respect of loved one because he is afraid of losing what little they have, friendship and simple smile they share.  We don’t need wilderness whether or not we travel the world of loving other... We need the possibility of escape from suffering and hurting oneself as surely as we need hope but it is going to happen lately when all things turn it into emptiness. This is a time that we remain as an individual ready to take decision of loosing or making it once more, we give choice to them because we have freed our mind. I mean, regardless of how much strong is our love or how desperate we were longing to hear their acceptance, but very day even if they make a proposal it doesn’t make any changes to strong mind. It means that, as the day goes on accomplishing love and hope one sets his mind and wisdom that every dream is simple when we make it.

“One doesn’t love in order to do what is good or to help or to protect someone. If we act that way, we are perceiving the other as a simple object, and we seeing ourselves as wise and generous persons. This has nothing to do with love. To love is to be in communion with the other and to discover in that other the spark of God”.

Love is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a defeat. Our distressed mind helps us to change and it let us to find our own dream. It let us write and makes personal author.  It is true that we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments but all of this is transitory it leaves no permanent mark but only good feelings that loving is not a sin. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken because love is a greatest wisdom.

I ask myself, what the feeling is inside when in love.  Even after decade, we still don’t know and those desire inside are never complete even when we share everything by nature. I think nobody has found the result of love so completely where everyone is satisfied at the end and thanking so loud that heaven can hear it. Actually what are we searching inside love? It may not be only smile, may not be kiss and hugs or even may not be sex but what is it? May be this answer and the love can end after eternity.